A Scary Teacher

When I was walking towards the front desk in between my first and second class today, I saw a young girl with tears pouring down her face.

I recognized her as one of my new students, 2nd or 3rd grade elementary school, and I saw my director standing next to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked my director.

My director's answer was the most improbable, and broke my heart: "She's scared of you."

"What?" I replied.

I will admit that I have come down hard on some middle school students who do not do their homework, but even in those cases--in every case--I do not want students to be scared of me.

I realize that I am this tall foreign man, and--for those students who have perhaps never seen a foreigner before--this can be strange, but I go out of my way to try and make kids feel comfortable.

"Amy," I said, using her English name, "it's ok."

She calmed down, and her class was fine; she seemed happy as usual.  There have never been any problems in that class (a new one for me),and she had completed all of her homework (sometimes a stress factor for kids).

My director told me that this was the girl who, last semester, has cried a lot, when her other foreign teacher (a woman) had taught her.

I didn't feel much better.

I really don't like to hear students say that they are "scared" of me.

Kind of a wake-up call, I guess, to remind me that students' perceptions and my perceptions are not always the same.

I like teaching because, in part, I have to be flexible, because things are always changing, but I obviously don't like it when those variations make me, or my students, sad.